She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
