Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
