I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
