just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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