Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
