You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
