Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
