i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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