Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
