I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
