The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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