hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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