Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize