What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Boobs are out for the taking
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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