she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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