Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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