He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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