the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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