I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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