Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
