I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
