There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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