he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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