You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
