Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
