Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
