just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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