I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
