I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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