just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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