White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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