Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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