And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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