I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
