I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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