I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
