i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
