roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
