once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
