did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
