you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
