I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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