You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize