I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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