It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
