I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize