THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
