I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You ruined the universe
Randomize
