It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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