I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
