Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
