He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
