no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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