As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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