Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
